- Anti Joke

What rhymes with turtle? Rape

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

women leaving the kitchen

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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