Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Rebecca Black.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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