It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Banana(s)

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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