Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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