Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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George W. Bush

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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