your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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toast points

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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boobs

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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