What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What abou three times

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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