Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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