Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Nathan Gooderson.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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