How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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women leaving the kitchen

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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