TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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imadewords

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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