Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

wow garlic, yum

Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

German sausage is the wurst

OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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