Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

Yo moma is so fat. yep.

Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...