How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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Your doorbell is broken.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

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Your mom

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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This is my joke. funny

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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9/11/2001

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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