What's 5+7? Piccillo

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

Yeah, totally.

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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