Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Jokes are funny.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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