Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

haha.

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

There's no "i" in tim.

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

Patrick is gay

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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