A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Rob Bell

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Adam Sandler.

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What should I name my dog?

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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