Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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