Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Women's rights

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Fuck her

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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