What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

French people

What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

alert('hiiii');

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

friend: whats in the box? me: shhhh, its your mom... im saving her for later.

Sex. That is all.

Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

who eats pencils asians

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

Women Voting

you will die someday

When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

aggie wilkinson, i WOULD!!!!!

How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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