What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Wolf Pussy

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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