Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

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What flys? A fly

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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the guy below me is gay

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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Bumsniffer

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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hey bill!

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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the your face joke

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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