What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

planking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Chayton

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops