Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Teen pregnancy

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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I can Nazi

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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Your mother is a man.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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Steve Jobs.

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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666 im christian

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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