What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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