What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

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whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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Why does World of Warcraft advertise on Anti-Joke? Because World of Warcraft is funny in anticlimactic and alternative way

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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A van drives into a car.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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