Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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A guy is playing cod

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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