Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Anne Frank.

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops