While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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Your mother is a man.

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Steve Jobs.

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666 im christian

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Don't rape me!

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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