what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Women's rights.

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Nickelback.

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What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

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Brittney Spears

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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Jake Bowar

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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