Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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96

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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obama is a good president

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American Idol

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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