Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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American Idol

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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NEVER

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You know George Washington? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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