So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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