What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

Go away.

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

penis that is all

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

Three blondes walk into a community college.

yo mamas so fat, she started working out

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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