baby seal walks into a bar

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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Why did Tyrone attack? Because he was getting made fun of

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Benevolent villain.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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