A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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ollie is a fag so are you

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Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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