Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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dog

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Women's Rights

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops