- Anti Joke

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

I came.

Dozer has a soul

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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