What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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dj miky

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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