A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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Hi

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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Why did the boy fall out of his tree house? the tree house was hit by lightning

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

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How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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