A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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My mom's dead

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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