What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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69

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon Ewan Gudgeon 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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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WALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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