Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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Rock mattress.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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