Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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DANA

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops