How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

Kittens.

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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