Real jokes.

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Women's Golf

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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whats gay ? you

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Yo mama so fat she died

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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Tim's gay.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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