What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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I cant think of one (._. )

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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lewis bedford

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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