What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Hey Caleb.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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Ancient Greeks rights

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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im black

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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96

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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Did you know?

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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