How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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The horse said "nay."

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What is brown and sticky? A masturbating Negro.

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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